Behaviors that Negatively Affect Marriages (wk 5)

(http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/relationships/advice/a16991/how-to-stop-arguing/)

I loved learning about how marriage is ordained of God. I like the idea of everything God asks us to do on earth is patterned after heaven. We know that we must be sealed with our spouse in the temple to be with them forever. This is the pattern of heaven and this is what God requires of us if we are to be like him and live like him. Our marriages are meant to be a source of joy to us and they are also meant to give us experiences. Marriage is not always roses, and if we choose to, we can learn to become more like Christ as we communicate, compromise, and grow with our spouses. 

I also like the idea that in marriage, the happiest of spouses focus on the positive in their relationships rather than the negative. No relationship is perfect, and it always requires effort and each spouse giving everything the can to make the relationship work. In Gottman's book called The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, he talks a lot about the idea that marriages built on friendships last the longest and both are happier. It makes total sense to me that happy spouses genuinely enjoy each other's company and consider the other their closest friend. By nurturing their friendship, spouses can get to know one another better and know how to best serve, love and give to the other person. 

It is through friendship that we are able to sincerely trust and commit to one another. A relationship built on a deep and abiding friendship is bound to result in a successful and happy marriage. This doesn't mean you won't have bumps along the way, but it does mean that you are more likely to be able to repair your disagreements as you go. My mom is always telling us that "love is friendship set on fire." She often talks about her friendship with my dad. She considers my dad her very best friend. They still have arguments sometimes, but they have agreed to disagree and learned to compromise in their relationship. Their friendship runs so deep, that they are able to overcome the challenges that come their way. They are also sure to work on their friendship every single day. They communicate daily, plan dates together, spend quality time with each other, and put each other first in their relationship. I think my parents are a great example of making marriage work.