Protecting Your Marriage

Communication is key in every relationship including marriage. Talking openly with one another not only strengthens your relationship, but it also helps protect against miscommunication, resentment, and lack of trust. One topic that is essential to come to an agreement upon is social media. I hadn't ever thought about this until someone brought it up in our class this week. It was suggested that after you get married, you create social media sites together instead of having your own. I can see the wisdom in that and how it can protect your marriage.

It would also be important to agree on how you will use social media. For example, will you be posting personal pictures to the accounts? Will you be sharing information about your relationship with others? How often will we be accessing these accounts? I've heard stories of spouses cheating on  each other by meeting with someone they met on social media. You can also cheat on your spouse on an emotional level by re connecting with a previous girlfriend or boyfriend ,for example. It is very easy to make and keep secrets on social media as well if your spouse has no access to your account. With joint accounts, there are no secrets and your spouse can see who you communicate and what is being shared.

Speaking of conversation, it is also essential to keep your relationship issues between the two of you. When you go to an outside source, you build a connection with them instead of speaking with your spouse and working out the problem between you. You may also build resentment against your spouse. For example, let's say I go to my mother with something that my husband did that was wrong. The more I talk with my mother, the more she is going to resent him and may even make me feel worse about the situation and turn against him more. Now let's say that a few weeks have gone by, and my husband and I have made amends and left the past in the past. It is very likely that my mother still has negative feelings towards my spouse. She may even bring up this issue in the future as other arguments arise. That's not to say that your relationship wouldn't benefit from seeking outside help from a counselor or mediator if you can't work things out between you.. however, it is wise to keep your relationship struggles between the two of you and to work them out in confidence as to not include others in your issues and potentially create additional problems now and in the future.