Blended Families

A blended family is when two separate families unite into one. Let's say that a father of three children and a mother of two have divorced their spouses. These two meet and begin dating. Eventually they get married and their families come together under one roof. This is one example of a blended families. It takes great effort, compromising, trial and error and dedication to make this transition run smoothly.

There are some risks that can make this marriage a bit more challenging than others. For example, the mother and fathers' ex spouses could still be involved in the children's' lives. This could mean that the children are spending time in two different households. This could also mean two different sets of rules and boundaries. Children may be hearing negative things from the other parent as well that could cause tension and resentment when they return.

Maybe the father is the "Disneyland dad" where he comes around every once in awhile and takes the kids to do something super fun. He doesn't have to be there for discipline, rule enforcement, homework, etc. Parents may also fight to be the favorite, causing tension between the child and the other parent. It's also important to recognize that many children blame themselves for their parents' divorce. This can cause problems both now and in the future. The key to blending  a family is to create a new family system that is tailored fit for you. What works for you may not work for someone else.

What makes a great parent?

The reality is, that today many parents are losing control of their children. These are parents that most likely have good intentions, however they are not reaching their desired outcomes. Parents seem to be letting their children get away with a lot more than they should be. Children seem to "rule the roost" so to speak and don't have many rules. If they do have rules, those rules may not be enforced or the parents neglect to follow through with discipline. In order to avoid conflict, many parents let their children get away with seemingly harmless behavior while they are young.

Contrary to what these parents may believe, they may be doing more damage than good. Children need love but they also need boundaries, rules and discipline. They need to understand there are consequences for their choices and behavior, both positive and negative. By setting boundaries and stepping up as the parent, you are setting your child up for success both now and later in life when they reach adulthood. Some parents need to expect more from their children.

That being said, the most important thing you can do for your child is to love them. Spend time with them, go on adventures, play games, take trips and make memories. Part of showing love to your children is by teaching them rules and boundaries. Also by expecting them to follow rules, be respectful and understand the parent-child relationship.